I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
