An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
