I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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