She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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