Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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