Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
