I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
