I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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