There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I came so hard my ears popped.
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