Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
