What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
