is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
