Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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