Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
