He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
