Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
