Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
