is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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