The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
