i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
