and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
