This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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