think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Do vagina's smell?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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