i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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