I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
