The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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