i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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