She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Houston, we have a squirter
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
