So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
