Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
