She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
