I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
