he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
