Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
she told me i tasted like america
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
