Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize