i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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