I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
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he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
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Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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