Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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