I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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