South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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