paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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