are you so shy because you have an std?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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