the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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