I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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