the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Floor bacon is actually really good
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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