Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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