Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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