I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
