just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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