Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
handjob tips. give me some.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
