you guys were way drunker than both of me
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
