That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
