she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
