covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
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I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
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It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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