So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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