i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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