We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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