Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
