One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
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hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
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Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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