how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My brain says no but my pants say off.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
