I'm eating all of the evidence.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
