I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
smell my finger.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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