New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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