So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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