Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
