Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
and you said cock pushups were impossible
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
